I have been struggling a bit lately. I don't think I have fully attempted to explain my issues at any point - you probably don't need that shit. (Although there is a bit if you are keen on that kind of stuff in Why Change? and Honesty Honestly.) Essentially, I suffer from anxiety and change is incredibly unsettling for me. I completed my engineering degree a few weeks ago and this coming week is grad week.
Up until all of this change I had been working out pretty consistently. Which in itself is a pretty big thing for me - I mean I've always done fitness 2-4 times a week but I haven't done dedicated work-outs and gym work outs and sprinting and stuff individually before now. The whole fitness movement bothers me, the attitude of the people in it, the winner-loser nature of it, the fact that you can never ever be good enough.. ever. That stuff is incredibly unhelpful for me.
Unfortunately being stressed under the change pressure ensures I have a sensation of paralysis. Forcing myself into anything becomes really hard. At the moment it can take me over an hour to convince myself to leave my room, or that I need to make my bed, or that I should read that book over there for fun, or that I really need to leave to get to that appointment on time. So forcing myself to do fitness activities, which is honestly even more stressful for me, can take half a day of working myself up to it.
I've also lost my gym buddy to the dark side. I can't handle being around her anymore. She has got the whole 'gym is the future' (that is to say gym is the only thing worthy in life) attitude going on. When we are together anything I say she replies with nothing and everything she says has something to do with her gym buddies. We've been away from school a few weeks (the big gap between the end of classes and the graduation) and in that time she went ahead and found new gym membership which I couldn't get because I was only in our hometown for 2 weeks. Which just emphasised that fitness was more important than our relationship. Not even, that doing fitness in a very narrow minded way was more important than our relationship. She's my best friend and has been since early high school - but I think I understand how couples divorce after being married for many years.
I think I've summarised why fitness is hard for me. Now I am going to summarise what I am going to do about it. I can't handle going to the gym anymore - that dear friend is one of those people who gets to be bosom buddies with everybody and I just can't take it. So I just need to find little things to keep myself from doing nothing all week. I know that such a small amount of work will probably still mean I'm going backwards from where I was but if it prevents me from doing 110% nothing all week it has achieved its purpose.
So I want to follow this little micro workout plan for each day of the week.
On Monday, Wednesday and Friday I'll do additional abs in the form of:
For 10 minutes, starting on the minute complete:
Then on Tuesday,Thursday and Saturday I'll also do this Legs Workout.
Then the current plan is to do this every other day and run on the other days... but I am allowing myself to say I might skip cardio completely on some days because if I am not willing to go outside I am not going to force myself for this week and I physically can't do jumping based cardio for 6 days in a row - my shins don't love me enough.