Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Yesteryear... No More Dieting Please

How far do I have to go back in time until dieting isn't a thing? I mean whether or not  the authors recall the time accurately weight was a sign of good health for quite a long time (still is for many cultures - especially in children). Yes, food is infinitely cooler today - I don't have to hunt and gather any further than my local Woolies. Access to chocolate isn't restricted to the upper classes. I think I could live without it - too much choice to eat badly every day of my life.

I feel I need to be very up-front about my weight at this point. I can practically hear the voices of mental voices of health nuts and snotty teenage girls (and for that the remember voice of my brother) at this point implying that I am obviously fat and unwilling to do anything about it. I am overweight, I'm aware of the fact. I am 5'10" and about 93kgs. I also do weights sessions at the gym 2-4 times a week, and run/swim/spin session 3 or so times on top of that. That is a little me justifying myself to you unknown millions but mostly that's simply the facts.

I am also on a diet at the moment. Not some kind of super strict strenuous diet - I've weighed between 85 and 95 kgs since I was 12 - there's no rush. I have oatmeal for breakfast, soup/sushi/sandwiches for my other main meals and if I snack its an orange or mandarin. The diet of convenience. (My friend calls it the S diet - slop, soup, sushi and snacks.) The only thing I am specifically trying to do is break my sweet snack addiction; chocolate, chips, full strength soft drink and the like.

I don't mind it much. It doesn't phase me. I'd like to look good on my Europe trip and to be honest this is enough of a change from my previous eating habits to make the difference I am looking for. Dieting can be fun - an exercise in self-constraint. I enjoy proving to myself that I can do it.

That doesn't sound entirely in keeping with my original statement? It sounded like I was all pro-obesity, one of those 'curves' women who more has rolls? That's because I hate dieting for different reasons to why I choice to do it for myself. I have been in places with my work and with my stress and my general psychological health where to contemplate the extra effort of dieting would send me hiding under the bed. At the time I was doing significantly less exercise than I am doing now. Playing netball twice a week, 3 hours of physical training classes, running once a week. I was doing a lot more than many people.

I lived my life feeling judged. That's what I hate about dieting, about health kicks, about nutrition Nazi's; they judge everybody. If I can't judge that person for being black, or for talking with a heavy accent, why can I judge them for being fat? Oh, right, because being fat is their own silly fault. Good then I'll judge you for not knowing what I'm talking about when I talk about transistors, amplifier circuits and Hough transforms. Alright I probably would do a little bit of that. We do a little bit of judging about everybody around us - comparing them to us. Judgement is normal.

Have you ever read a weight loss website, or looked on one of those women's websites at 10 health foods you didn't know or 50 Seemingly Healthy Foods That are Bad For You? I find them so negative. You should never eat anything you like EVER again. It almost feels like that are judging me through my computer screen. Why not be positive about eating healthy or losing weight? Not just to accrue more customers to your product or to 'help the lesser humans' like you would treat a child you are teaching to enjoy reading.

I had our politically correct world - so wrapped in bubble wrap you're likely to suffocate on your own body odour. However I can live with that, at least for the time being. What I dislike is that fat people are the fall out guy a lot of the time. My work place is constantly wary of sexual harassment - they check on the women asking them how its all going. The women don't mind any of it really. I've felt really awkward in those meetings before though because I'm being asked if I feel judged or discriminated against for being a woman and I never had. But I feel judged most weeks for not being able to run 5km in under 30 minutes or do 20 push ups. Nobody cares about that I guess.

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